For someone who says that she relates much better to women, I was one of those girls who ditched all their friends for her boyfriend. Truth be told I’m surprised that it’s not more common. First loves are all-consuming and I was lucky enough to gain a best friend in the process. I ended up marrying him too. When we spend time together we just have that kind of rapport. We problem-solve, fight and enjoy life’s pleasures first and foremost as individuals choosing to be together. As best buds.
It was only as I matured that I learnt the distinction between my partner and my friends. They are different and serve distinct purposes. The reality of it is that my husband is the person I trust the most and go to first. No one will ever take that position, no matter the amount of love and affection I have for them. But with a friend, the relationship is lighter though no less significant. It’s nice to have a breather from your legally-binding teammate.
What I can say about my best friend K is that she is the very best of people. She is considerate, generous, fun and above all very well-raised. We work because we have the same expectations for what our friendship will entail. Currently we are living on separate coasts but even when we were in the same city we were not in each other’s faces. What I like about K is that she is low-maintenance. There are no hurt feelings about not having Skype dates or questions about what we mean to each other. The simple answer is that we love each other, are in each other’s lives but don’t need constant updates. Nothing changes.
If I had to name what I admire about her, it is her loyalty. K was there for me through some tough times in undergrad and beyond and she is there for me still. That’s why she was my maid of honor and my son’s godmother. She is so very honourable. I can’t even list all the ways that she has been such a good friend. I just hope that I can be the same and repay half of what she has given so unconditionally.
So if you find your bestie consider yourself lucky, because not everyone gets that privilege.