When Matthew McConaughey won an Oscar for Best Actor he said that his hero is five years away.  And he’s right, you should always be chasing and not be complacent.  My husband and I try to put this outlook into practice.  We are always looking forward.

Now, this strategy exists in our plans for a year in Paris, it’s present in our current monthly budget that will add to our savings for a mortgage, it’s there on the steps we take for our careers.  We put aside pleasure now to have something bigger and better later.  Delayed gratification so that the rewards are bigger.  Granted we’ve had a lot of practice.  Andrew left his corporate job to pursue a graduate education.  People believed that he was indulgent and that it was risky but he did it anyways.  And now, he’s living his life on his own terms and very happy.  In the end it’s always worth it.  The funny part is that the doubters are usually there to offer congratulations at the end when things are good.  Too bad about all that middle part.  But this is when you are gracious and accept their sentiments.

At the core of this is simply one of the sound bytes that you heard from your mother, teacher or guidance counselor.  Set goals and take intentional steps to reach them.  That’s not to say that there is a set path that if you diverge from will result in disaster.  No, there are always different ways to go and it’s very much a process.  One must be resilient and keep at it but there is no distinct end point or time-limit.  Trust, when you finally obtain it you will always want more.

We set similar objectives for our marriage and personal life.  We’ve discussed our 25th wedding anniversary throughout our marriage and have very specific plans.  Having aspirations such as these also means that we’re trying to stay married for at least 25 years.  We are not going to host a lavish dinner party.  Been there, done that with the wedding.  We want the celebration to be about us, not for other people.  That’s why a month in Provence in a chateau is everything we want.  We want that time to reflect on what we share, to be with each other and to be with the people we love most.  I want to break bread and be content.  We’ve also discussed our gifts.  I’m going to purchase a Rolex for him and he’ll buy a Chanel purse for me.  Then Andrew noticed that around our 25th anniversary is when C will be heading off to university.  He realized financially that would be a pain.  So we looked at each other and at the same moment said “what about the 30th for the gifts?”  We may be dreamers but we are also pragmatic.