I’ve been with my husband for such a long time that I sometimes forget that my thoughts aren’t automatically transmitted to him. “What, you never told me that,” is a common phrase in our household and the level of exasperation varies depending on the severity of what I failed to communicate. He is many things but a telepath is not one of them. This is just one example of what happens to many longterm couples, when you become inextricably linked beyond the marriage certificate. It’s also where the potential for push-back happens when one or both of you might want a different version of yourselves to try on for size. Often the healthiest way to counter that is to have lives outside of your union, different interests and hobbies that allow you to bring something back to the table. When you don’t exist solely for each other.
I can’t believe I’m actually about to write about figure skaters but whatever, it’s something that came to mind recently and I want to see the thoughts through. The Sochi winter olympics has decreased my productivity precisely because a certain Canadian dance team piqued my interest. If you don’t know whom I’m speaking of, they had a reality show, they are beautiful, talented and are mostly known for how they interact with each other. It’s safe to say that in their sport they will be remembered far beyond their amateur or professional careers because of how they changed the game. That and the fact that everyone and their mother wants them to be together. I’m pretty sure that all of Canada would break into song and dance if that ever happened. I get it. They are two physically attractive individuals who clearly adore each other, however they deem to label their relationship. We all want the rom-com ending of after knowing each other for seventeen years and being business partners, they end up falling in love. I mean, Andrew and I have been romantically involved for fifteen and we get the same reaction when we tell people our story. Their eyes light up as if our life is one long Nora Ephron script. Shortly after marriage our friend M stated that we were proof that love lasts. The fact that we’re high school sweethearts give us street cred.
But here’s the real deal. That type of history makes it tricky and taking it to the next level either works or it doesn’t. Even if you decide to try, it can be hard to maintain a spark amongst such familiarity. For the said pair that I speak of, they met each other when they were babies, fine not infants but 7 and 9 are close enough. After having to become adults at a young age by committing to being high performing athletes, they probably understand each other in a way that no one else can. However, finishing each other’s sentences does not mean that you would work as a couple. History cannot always hold its own against distinct socio-economic backgrounds and temperaments. Sometimes stories like these are best left in the platonic zone, where you can be best buds forever. That’s so much more sustainable. So all those romantics, myself included, need to sit the hell down. Because why muck up such a beautiful connection with messy feelings? They and their story are far too pretty for that.
Also, no one knows what’s precisely going on with them so me and my gossip radar are calling it a day.