Catalysts and math

Whenever a production company is trying to sell a movie they start throwing around words like “chemistry,” “undeniable,” “connection.”  Nine out of ten times it will work because it is the catnip for us romantics.  Now, don’t play shy, you know it’s irresistible when you see it in your office, the grocery store, the parking lot.  I know that you smile.  So when it is available for public consumption?  There is nothing better.

I  highly doubt that it’s just smoke and mirrors.  You can’t fake chemistry.  You either have it or you don’t and some pairings work so well.  Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart come to mind, whatever you have to say about their former open-relationship and bisexual arrangement.  I don’t know why anyone’s surprised.  Rules are not always the smart choice in hollyweird where they pay the bills by kissing and pretending to love other people.  How many conventional relationships do you think exist there?  Who’s to say these arrangements are any less healthy than our “normal” relationships?

But returning to the topic of chemistry it can destabilize many foundations but that doesn’t mean that a relationship or commitment will result from it.  I think after they’ve done it for a few years, actors just attribute that strong emotional connection to character bleed and move on.  Have you ever seen a behind the scenes look?  Couples are not formed in that awkward studio with those giant microphones.  They are created in whisperings in trailers when they are “rehearsing” far from their families, responsibilities and home.  I also think they recognize that this artificial environment and the feelings felt there do not always stand up in the daylight.  The soft glow of the fantasy cannot withstand the glare of everyday life.  There are exceptions of course.  Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet have a beautiful friendship post-Titantic.  She even wears a plain gold band from him, engraved with a message, underneath her wedding ring.  I reiterate, rules don’t exist the same way for celebrities with all of that wealth and freedom to choose.  Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz also returned to their former lives and gave it another go, before realizing that they actually wanted to be with each other.  So they cut the ties, wed and returned to living very private lives.  Sometimes you can’t get it out of your system, and you’re not meant to.

The catalyst aspect of these chemical reactions is what fascinates me.  Because some never begin, others die out while a rare few will survive.  These are just questions because I don’t believe that there are well-formed answers as to why this happens.  They just do.  In December I was marking mid-terms at the public library.  I was amongst the entire student body of North Toronto CI who were pretending to study.  Now if the chatter wasn’t distracting enough there were two “friends” helping each other out with Calculus.  I put the label in quotations because everything associated with the beginning was right there: the flirting, the leaning, the laughing.  God, I felt like I was 17 again.  Then his girlfriend showed up.  And I was like, oh, it’s that grey zone.  When she kept looking over with concerned looks I felt badly, because I thought, honey, I’m sorry but I’m not sure you’re going to like how this story gets played out.  One of her guy friends even gave me a knowing look.  Everyone at the table knew.  Sure enough, two months ago I was leaving the library and guess who are now a couple?  Calculus friends.

Chemistry can blow.  I felt badly for the ex.  But the new couple was cute.

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