Superlatives

My husband and I came to the conclusion that we are slightly repulsed when couples call each other “honey.”  I personally would rather have my partner say nothing to me at all than to refer to me as any type of food or condiment.  Upon reflection we just realized that every couple has a style and that particular one was not ours.  And that’s cool, it’s all good.  But as per usual fashion I could not leave it alone.  Why do I cringe at these affirmations?

Taking apart these types of questions is best done by someone with fresh eyes.  I mean, can anyone really see themselves clearly?  But, my best friend is moving across country, I’m not exactly about to ask her and her undergrad Psychology degree to sort this out.  So, my prognosis is that I just like emotionally distant men.  It’s almost for the sake of survival because my biggest nightmare lies in the form of bondage, and not the good kind.  What’s worse than complete and utter emotional suffocation?  Overbearing individuals.  So it works.  When I spot one I just usually run in the opposite direction.

But how did I get here?  It’s Psychology 101 that relationships with different men in my life have shaped these preferences.  I also attribute it to popular culture.  My father continually teases me about this, but there is this figure skating movie that I’ve seen a total of twenty times, if not more.  In The Cutting Edge two individuals from vastly different backgrounds and socio-economic classes are paired together to try to win Olympic Gold.  I’m pretty sure this is why I always want on-screen couples and business partners to fall in love.  They are both driven, competitive and the sexual tension is instantaneous.  D.B. Sweeney is a gruff, meat and potatoes type of guy who likes hockey, winning and that’s about it.  An injury has ended his career in the NHL and skating with Kate (Moira Kelly, my first girl-crush), an intelligent, snarky and wealthy figure skater is his last option, well other than working construction.  And so their journey begins and they have this junior school playground interaction that you know behind closed doors is so hot.  It’s fabulous.  But there are so many obstacles in the way: fiancees, careers, misunderstandings, other figure skaters, the toe pick.  It all comes to a head when a certain element is missed, words are spoken and with the chance that they may never see each other again, ta-da, they express their love for each other.  And right before skating their program too.  If only life was this simple.  I swear, movies like this are fun but do nothing for people’s romantic illusions.  If only the high school musicals spent 40 minutes showing people doing homework.  You know what though, I rather that my heart remain tender.  I want to believe that relationships and friendships can be glorious upheavals.  That they can transform you.  So did this film influence my desire to be with a reserved man?  Check.  Did I marry someone who plays hockey?  Check.  My husband reads more than the film’s star but he will never call me a natural sweetener and that, my friends, is a relief.

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3 thoughts on “Superlatives

  1. Interesting. Although I’m missing the connection between “honey” and emotional suffocation. Before my question, I offer a disclaimer: I tend not to use nicknames or pet names unless they’re in jest. I like traditional names of 2 or 3 syllables and using them in full and I love to hear others use my name; I think it adds a deliberateness to requests, questions, affirmations of love, etc. I feel the same way about “babe” as you do about “honey”. My question to you is what’s the difference between one person calling another one “honey” and K or another friend or lover calling you Eips? They are each versions of a nickname or pet name for someone they care about.

    • Hmmm, this is a good question Dana. This is great, please write every time I post because you really make me think. I think it’s the sweetness associated with words like “honey” or “babe” that kind of hurts my teeth, whereas Eips is a shortened version of my name and denotes an intimate relationship with the person using it. It’s strange but extra sweet things (not in food) kind of make me sick. It’s like an instant recoil that I can’t really help–probably have to work that one out too. Ha.

  2. I will keep writing! I feel like we have very similar feelings toward the topics you write on, but come at them from very different perspectives. I like it.

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