It’s a fact universally acknowledged that the very moment that you say “like I care” is when you care the most. God, I wish it was not true. You gain a lot of baggage when you give too much credit to people’s opinions. You risk very little when you don’t want to be made a fool. But here’s the concession, there are strategies to not give a damn and rewards associated with it.
It’s Andrew’s coping mechanisms to brush things aside. He reasons that it’s a way to not waste energy on things that don’t really matter. Sure his feelings rarely get hurt but sometimes I wish he would pay more attention to the finer details. The downside is that it can make you sloppy when it comes to your personal life. Sometimes you have to do nice things for people even when they’re not particularly considerate or attentive to your needs. It’s work to be a bigger person. But here’s the good stuff, not caring allows you to not fear instabilities that are just a necessary part of life. People always wonder why successful people don’t have regrets that haunt them. It’s because they know they would not be where they are without all of those setbacks.
Another liberating fact is that more likely than not people are too busy to think about you anyways. Schedules are hectic and even when you screw up, most people will devote a nano-second to ponder your situation and then are distracted by something they have to get done. They are probably already checking their phone. Who says that self-interest is always a bad thing, heck I’m pretty sure that it can be an integral part of self-preservation.
But I believe there is a point when you would not let things faze you as much, when you’re not looking for gratification from everywhere but within. I believe the path to this zen, this security, is finding something that you’re passionate about and taking steps to master it. Work hard to excel. I’m currently reading “The Goldfinch” and upon seeing the cover Andrew said, “Donna Tartt, that’s the worst fake name ever.” To which I replied, “she doesn’t care, she’s won a Pulitzer.”